This is one of those mundane experiences that wouldn’t normally be noteworthy if I hadn’t been wearing a skirt when it happened. Since it just happened about half an hour before I’m writing this, I thought I would make a quick post about it.
Today, March 20th, is one of the first nicer days of the year here in southern Germany. The weather is very mild and it feels a lot like spring. That means, of course, that a lot of people are out doing yard work for the first time this year.
Since my mother is currently visiting, she volunteered to mow our backyard. Of course, I couldn’t say no to that sort of offer, so I went out and helped her get the lawnmower set up. I went out in the skirt I was wearing which was my green “work” skirt from Engelbert-Strauss (see the picture below).
There is a small apartment building next door to us with six condos in it. An elderly man lives in one of the ground floor condos which all have a small yard. I had never met him before, but my wife had.
As I was helping my mother with the lawnmower, he approached the fence and started chatting with me. I walked over confidently and we chatted perfectly normally over the fence for about twenty minutes.
Never once did the skirt I was wearing play a role in anything whatsoever. He didn’t mention it, didn’t stare at it, didn’t even look at it even though I’m absolutely certain he must have seen me in it even before we started chatting. In fact, I’m certain he’s seen me in it several times before because I’m not ashamed to go out in my own yard in a skirt. Our conversation, however, was the entirely normal, mundane banter of two neighbors meeting for the first time.
I’m telling this story because I think the more normal social interactions we have as skirt-wearing men, the more normalized men wearing skirts will become. It also shows just how wearing skirts as a man plays little to no role in everyday interactions, even out in public.
He had probably never seen a man in a skirt before he met me (or saw me for the first time) and yet, he couldn’t have cared less about it. Of course, I wasn’t wearing a floral, flowy, “feminine” skirt, but even if I had been, he probably would have reacted the same way he did with my “masculine” green skirt.
Wearing skirts in public and around others as men is easy once you get started. Most people don’t care and even those that do are generally going to be very positive about it. It’s definitely worth a try.
That work skirt is a fine one – much like some I wear regularly. And congrats on meeting a neighbor (and thereby actually becoming neighbors). While I generally agree with your conclusions, and have found much the same myself; I do disagree with your suggestion that a flowy flowery skirt would surely have received the same reaction.
As you likely know, the subreddit r/menskirts contains images of both types, as well as crossdressers seeking to appear as women. The discussions there and reactions to these different presentations, though from a pool very much NOT representative of the general public, suggest to me that outfits (like yours here) that still present as confidently male are much more readily accepted than those that mimic more female-associated characteristics. No doubt, there is a continuum between a guy wearing a regular shirt over a denim work skirt and fellow with coifed hair, and breast forms under a chiffon dress with slit hem, showing shaved legs in stockings and heels. Everyone will find some comfort zone and likely one with some limits. We don’t yet know where your neighbor’s may be, but I’m very glad it’s not so small as to miss the pleasure of your beskirted company.
Thank you! You’re probably right. A flowy flowery skirt probably wouldn’t have had much of or any reaction either. Since I don’t own any like that (all of mine are solid colors or tartan), I haven’t been able to test other people’s reactions to it. Maybe I should borrow one from my wife and see what happens. 🙂 Other people’s experiences I’ve read online also confirm what you wrote about men wearing outfits while still presenting as a male being more acceptable by the general population than men trying to appear as women. I have absolutely no problem with men who do that and I think it’s amazing they have the confidence and skills to do it, but it does seem like it’s less controversial to still present as male. As far as everyone having their limits, you are absolutely right. I don’t think I’m ever going to see what my neighbor’s limits are though because he’s already seen me in the skirts I wear most often and hasn’t reacted yet.
Oh yes, it’s a continuum all right, and one where I stick rigidly to the more masculine end: mainly solid colours; material denim, chino or cotton twill; pockets, at least 2, a must; and nothing falling below the knee. I just wouldn’t feel comfortable and assured wearing long floral, flowy skirts in some soft or translucent material in public. In fact, I make it a rule of thumb not to wear any sort of outerwear in private that I’d be abashed to wear in public
My immediate neighbours know I wear skirts, but never pass any comment – mind you, I wouldn’t say no to a compliment from one of them: a single, middle-aged lady living with her grownup daughter!
Just to round off. Your header: Meeting My Elderly Neighbor for the First Time in a Skirt. I know what you mean, of course, but that is ambiguous: you could also be complimenting your neighbour on seeing him in a skirt for the first time!
Meeting My Elderly Neighbor for the First Time in a Skirt
I also tend to stick to more solid colors. Some of my skirts are A-line skirts and are certainly more flowy and in that regard “feminine”, but I don’t have anything with floral patterns or lace. It’s not that I have a problem with it, it’s just not my style. I’ve always liked solid colors over patterns unless the patterns are simple. I used to wear skirts and dresses that I wouldn’t be comfortable with wearing out in public even to this day, but I tend not to anymore. It just makes it feel more normal for me if I feel like I don’t have to change in order to leave my house.
You’re definitely right about the title. I revised it several different times before settling on that version simply because there were ambiguities in every phrasing I could come up with. It would really make my day if my elderly male neighbor came out in a skirt though!
I’ve been “caught” wearing a skirt/kilt a few times. I’m always surprised people don’t say more. My friends do. But the random neighbor/acquaintance remain mum. Maybe they don’t know what to say. Maybe they’re too polite. Maybe they’re intrigued but the concept is so novel they are stupified into silence. Whatever the reason, I vassilate between wanting them to compliment me and wanting them to not say anything. Such a weird world we live in.
I think a flowy flowery skirt likely wouldn’t cause a ruckus as long as the rest of the outfit is pretty masculine. Could see a nice juxtaposition of the feminine flower and male top
I can imagine most people are too polite to say or do anything even if they have negative thoughts. Although, I suspect most people truly don’t care even if they don’t understand it. They might just shake their heads and move on. Of course with friends, it’s a very different story though since they are close to you.
I absolutely understand what you mean about vacillating between wanting to be left alone and wanting them to engage. Sometimes I spend a day out in public in a skirt or kilt and come home disappointed that no one said anything! Other times, I’m happy they didn’t.
Well, this skirt is really “masculine” if we can finally call it like that, with rather common brown belt. Would it be different if you wear something more eye-catching? I’m not sure, but I think I can share the story that few weeks ago I was at “family doctor”? Not sure how it’s called in English but it’s this type of healthcare you go to when you get cold / flu and it takes longer than expected but it’s not worth going to hospital. I wasn’t even sick, I just had to handover results of my brother and while I was waiting there in the “hall” dressed in such red skirt – https://a.allegroimg.com/s1440/11b372/d6c6edc545399f9a8fa16f046925/BORDOWA-SPODNICA-NA-WYMIAR-MIARE-KIESZENIE-Marka-inna – one guy, probably around 60 years old, kindly asked me if I’m doing some statement to the world or is it a provocation.
After explaining my motivation of just wearing the skirt for fun and seeing no reason to not do so, we discussed probably the whole history of men wearing skirts / dresses, mainly ancient times, through Jesus using tunic on a daily basis, Spartakus and all the Roman Empire glory, and what does it really mean, if anything. It was really good to see someone who seemed to have rather negative attitude being able to listen and openly talk about it, and maybe even turn someone on my (our) side?
The skirt is very “masculine” which is why I think his reaction may have been different if it had been a more “feminine” skirt. Or maybe not. He may also just not have cared. I am going to test that theory though by wearing some of my A-line skirts out. I only have solid colors for the most part, but the A-line skirts are definitely more flowy and “feminine” in cut. I have one very similar to the one you linked to.
That sounds like a great experience at the doctor! Those kind of conversations are a lot of fun to have with people who you really don’t expect to have them with. I’ve never had one with a man, but women will definitely engage with it more.