Today, we welcome Kevin from Belgium to Profiles of Beskirted Men!
What is your name?
Kevin
Where are you from?
Belgium
Which types of gender non-conforming clothing do you enjoy wearing?
Skirt, tights, stockings (with and without garter belts) & high heels
When did you start wearing gender non-conforming clothing?
At 13 or 14, I can’t remember exactly. It begun with tights
How did you start wearing gender non-conforming clothing and why?
I begun at about 13 to 14 years old because my older sister was wearing black tights that I thought to be really neat and very nice looking. I was a little bit green of envy because she had a great look and girls clothes were actually very much nicer than boy’s.
My parents violently pushed against my will of wearing gender non-conforming clothes during my teenage years. My father & step-mother were vehemently against that, calling me “a freak”, amongst other very “nice” words. The day I “got caught” wearing tights, I was screamed at during 7 hours. I can still remember pretty well.
Once I got my own place, I begun to wear clothes of the opposing gender and never stopped since.
What is your motivation now for putting on gender non-conforming clothing?
I feel nice in such clothes. I feel less as the “alpha male” that the society want me to be. I am more human and more in touch with the “soft”, gentle & caring part of myself.
I want to push my beliefs. The beliefs were anyone should be able to wear whatever they want without being labelled as deviant, or laughed at. I would like an open society where men and women would just be able to wear a skirt or a pant without any comments against them.
What do gender non-conforming clothes mean to you?
Freedom of wearing whatever I want, and to be whoever I want to. I also enjoy the design of those clothes : the lines and colours used are much more rich than standard “male” clothes. I enjoy the bright colours of tights and stockings, I like to mix the highly feminine look of a skirt with tights with a “serious” shirt
How often do you wear gender non-conforming clothing?
3 to 5 times a week
Do you go out in public dressed in gender non-conforming clothes? If not, why not? If so, how often and where do you go? Are there any places you wouldn’t go?
I wear tights and stockings under pants, as my workplace as a very strict dress code. Recently, I wore a skirt in Louvain-la-Neuve, when I had to pick-up a new phone…it was a highly stressful 45 minutes experience, but it went really well.
Recently, I begun to wear skirt when going from the house to the car, riding to the workplace. Being the one who open the building, I never met anyone so early.
I would not go in Charleroi or in a lot of parts of Brussels, where people are known for being very narrow-minded.
Do you find it hard to go out in public in gender non-conforming clothes?
Yes, I am not yet used to go out in skirt, even if I have been wearing tights & stockings under a pant for years.
What is your best and/or worst experience in gender non-conforming clothes?
Not yet a “worst” experience but one neutral and one good:
The neutral one : I went to Louvain-la-Neuve to pick up a new phone. I went through the whole city and the FNAC shop wearing my blue denim skirt & blue tights. No comment heard from anyone…it went smoothly.
A good/neutral one : I went to my best friend’s place to pick up some paperworks but only his wife, who is also a close friend of mine, was there. She offered me a coffee cup and, when I stepped into their house, I removed my shoes…and remembered that I was wearing green stockings without socks. So…she saw that I was wearing nylons.
She did not say anything, and was friendly as usual.
Do your family or friends know about how you dress?
My wife knows that I wear tights and stockings. She is not yet aware that I wear skirt and high heels…but I will talk about it to her.
Are there people you don’t want to know about it?
Yes. My co-workers. Some of them would be OK with the fact, I think but others would have a hard time to even just accept that I am around dressed with a skirt.
Does your partner accept your clothing choices?
So far, yes. But she is not yet aware of my want to wear a skirt.
What is your favorite style?
A mid-length, slotted, skirt with tights; or a denim skirt just above the knees, also with tights. And I am looking for shoes, but I think I will try some found on Zalando.
Where do you shop for your clothes?
Mainly on-line, but sometimes in physical shops, especially for stockings.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
I am a regular guy. I love my wife, my kids, working on cars & rifles, hiking, running, astronomy & reading….like many, many people. But I also enjoy to mix clothes, no matter what “gender” is assigned to said clothes.
Do you have any links you would like to share (i.e. social media profiles or websites)?
I created an instagram profile regarding my life : https://www.instagram.com/tribulationsmaladroites/
Thank you for sharing, Kevin!
If you would like to have your profile featured in Profiles of Beskirted Men, take a look at the post I wrote about it for more details.
As someone who’s still before barrier of reaching 30 years old age, I see how much of a limitation other people can be, especially the ones you consider as the close one, the beloved ones, when you want to do to be truly free. Your experience in younger age must have been awful, happily the times are “easier” today. For me it’s simple to just say “do it” – wear skirt / dress as you want – because there’s no time to waste on being “yourself”, but I can imagine how big consequences can be just for wearing a different type of clothes. I hope your family will accept this, just like you definitely accept their hobbies and behaviours that might not be so “normal”
It’s sad to hear that your parents yelled at you at such a young and impressionable age. Clearly their rage worked and you gave up your fascination with tights and skirts…
It’s the age old problem. People see something they don’t understand like and instead of trying to understand it, they lash out. I think we need to forgive those who do this initially but try to educate them.
The reality is though, you can’t change a leopards spots. People are gonna do what they do. Either you know about it or you don’t and when it comes to a lived one, I’d rather know and support even if I don’t like or understand it. Why push people away? You only have so much time with them.
Glad your wife supports you
” I wear tights and stockings under pants, as my workplace as a very strict dress code. Recently, I wore a skirt in Louvain-la-Neuve, when I had to pick-up a new phone…it was a highly stressful 45 minutes experience, but it went really well.” It is nothing less than angering that this is still a thing, particularly in Germany where Viet Alex ( a very out and celebrated male gender non conformist ) is embraced and seemingly celebrated. I thought Germany was far more open than this.
And the fact a man STILL has to “slowly” let the wife know he not only wear stockings, but also skirts is just nothing less than disapointing to read.
I do hope things improve for you, and your wife takes it well.