I (somewhat) recently wrote about my first time wearing a skirt in front of my parents, so I thought I would write about my first experience wearing a skirt in front of my mother-in-law.
To be honest, the experience was even less sensational than with my parents, if you could call it sensational at all. I decided to start slowly with her and began by wearing my black utility kilt which can be seen in one of the pictures below.
The Kilt
She lives about two hours away from us but visits fairly regularly. It was for one of these visits in the summer of 2023 that I decided to don my kilt.
At this point, you might expect me to say that she had no reaction when I answered the door wearing it, but that isn’t actually true in this case. When I opened it for her, she stayed on the front porch for a moment and looked at my kilt. Even before saying hello, she said, “Oh, you’re wearing a kilt!”
She didn’t say it in a condescending way but rather because she was surprised. It was immediately followed by her complimenting the way it looked on me and a story about how she had been seeing more men in kilts recently. She added that she always wondered whether they were wearing any underwear but would never dare ask. Understanding the implied question, I assured her I was.
That isn’t the only time someone has asked me that question when wearing a kilt. It seems to be the first thing that comes to mind for a lot of people when they see a man in a kilt. Maybe I should write about that in a separate post.
Overall, the visit with me wearing my kilt went well except for one detail that frustrated me a little bit. On the day of her arrival, we decided to go out and get pizza for dinner. Just before we were about to leave, she asked me if I was going to change into “something more serious” and stated that I couldn’t go out to eat like that. If the restaurant were more upscale or formal, I would have understood why that particular utility kilt wouldn’t have been appropriate, but the pizza place is a hole-in-the-wall restaurant where it doesn’t matter.
The thing that irked me though was that I knew she didn’t mean that particular kilt. She meant that I should change into jeans to be “taken seriously.” While she didn’t explicitly say that, it was very much so implied. I wasn’t going to argue with her, but I also wasn’t going to change. Instead, I just explained to her that I go out in it all the time and it’s fine. She was skeptical but didn’t argue. As you would expect, everything went just fine.
The Skirt
I wore the kilt around my mother-in-law a few more times before moving on to a skirt from the women’s department. She often complimented me on it but didn’t say anything about me wearing it out again.
It wasn’t until the past summer (2024) that I decided to wear one of my favorite skirts for hot weather: a lightweight, blue jersey skirt that can be seen in one of the photos below. I started the day off in shorts, but as the temperature increased, I got more and more uncomfortable. At some point, I decided it was time for a skirt and changed into it. I could have worn my kilt, but wanted something more lightweight.
Oddly enough, there was no reaction whatsoever this time. She didn’t compliment me or say anything about it at all. Normally, I can read people and gauge their reactions fairly well, but there was absolutely no change in her at all. She carried on exactly as she had with me in shorts as though nothing had changed.
I thought she may not have noticed which would have been ideal, so I asked her what she thought of my skirt. I specifically used the word “skirt” this time. She told me it looked good on me and looked comfortable but didn’t say anything more than that. She may have been a little uncomfortable with me wearing it, but she didn’t show it.
Conclusion
Since those first experiences, I have consistently worn skirts in front of her and haven’t had any more reactions at all other than an occasional compliment. She treats me exactly the same way as before and mainly gives off the impression that she doesn’t care whatsoever. In my experience, that is exactly how most people react to seeing a man in a skirt: they just don’t care.
Here are a couple of pictures of what I wore in front of her:
I like the way the jersey skirt looks. Especially with the plain T shirt. I hate justifying a look as “masculine” but exchange a pair of jersey shorts and no one remarks.
I’ve had a similar experience when I first wore a kilt in front of my ninety something neighbor. Walked in their house and before the usual greeting and pleasantries, “you’re wearing a kilt!” All good. No badness at all implied or said. All in fact was positive.
I’ve also noticed women remark on a kilt way more than a skirt. I think it has to do with the assumption that a kilt is rubber stamped as ok for men to wear and a skirt is not. So there’s a pause before they speak when they recognize it’s a skirt and it makes them mute. For the most part.
Recently I was wearing a linen kilt that sad to say the company doesn’t make anymore. These linen kilts are awesome. Their flagship kilt has a unique design and is the kilt I get the most compliments on. Posted pictures at the Men’s and Unisex Skirt Forum in Delphi if interested. One time recently though, the woman behind the counter remarked on how she loved my skirt. Only time my kilt was ever called a skirt. Was a great encounter.
Glad it went well with your mother in law. Wonder if she ever said anything to your wife?
Thank you! That tends to be my style: swap out the skirt and it’s a typical male outfit. That isn’t because I wouldn’t like to wear more “feminine” tops, but rather because I don’t think they fit my body type very well. My shoulders are simply too broad which means I tend to stick with shirts that I think fit my broad shoulders. Those you normally find in the men’s department.
I agree that I think the acceptance of men wearing kilts is because it’s a known garment that everyone agrees is ok for men to wear. It’s entirely arbitrary in a way, but it is that way. She hasn’t said anything to my wife because I specifically asked her about that and she said no.
Sounds like you have been fortunate in your choice of mother-in-law (OK, choice of spouse and all that comes with that). She seems not stuffy at all, just uncertain at most of what constitutes OK dress code in your area. I can’t compare, as my mother-in-law was gone before me. Father-in-law was a cool guy, though.
Yes, I think there is material for a piece on the underwear question. I saw recently a statistic on Scots and their under-kilt preferences:
“55% of kilt-wearing men say they wear dark underwear, and 38% go commando. 7% wear shorts or tights.
Those Scottish gentlemen who do wear kilts will be pleased to know that women are big fans of kilts, Scottish women in particular. 91% say it’s a very attractive look—they may be hoping for a peek, too—and 67% of Scotsmen think it’s strong and patriotic. Most women polled by the government in Scotland think nothing should be worn underneath that glorious kilt. Are we surprised? Probably not!”
As for me, I’ve written elsewhere that choice of undies is a key part of the benefit of skirting. With pants or shorts, the main disadvantage is their entanglement of the garment with two bodily elements that move differently. The legs of the pants move with the legs of the body and drag the intermediate body bits around in the process! A skirt eliminates that, and plays solely (and pleasantly) with the legs. So choice of undies ideally preserves that separation. That means boxers or other pants-like undies fail. My choice is bikini-cut undies that cradle the middle bits without engaging the legs at all. Maybe one of your famous polling posts is appropriate for this question, Alex, as I’m sure others have come to alternate preferences (and I would be interested in their reasoning as well).
I have certainly been fortunate in my choice of spouse (and her family) as they have all been very accepting of my unusual fashion choices. They are generally open-minded people.
Those are interesting statistics! I’ve added “What men wear underneath their kilts” to the list I have of post ideas. It’s quite a long list! Now I just need to find the time to actually write them…
I can confirm that the few Scottish women I have met have all agreed that a man in a kilt is particularly attractive. Even my wife shares this view and she is German.
I like the idea for the poll! I will set one up! Thank for the suggestion!
Ah, yeah, “wear something normal” for anything outside, I heard something similar several times but aside from football games, I just backfired with “then I’m not going” and people (friends or family) backed off with their suggestions. My brother who’s just 2 years old younger than me was a bit upset, because he felt that during shopping we’ll be “considered” as two gays, as he said.
It is really good to keep in the back of the head this significant question – why do you care about thoughts of people who might see you first and the only time ever? Not even mentioning how you can really know who thinks and what (you can really just visualize what you would think in such situation and “telepathy” it to other people’s brains).
Good that you remained on your position, because that’s the actual moment when you indicate your independency and simply being yourself.
Yeah, once you’ve had that discussion once (like I did with my mother-in-law), then it usually doesn’t come back around. That’s especially true if you refuse to change or go if you “have to” change.