As some of you already know, my wife, Julia, has written a number of posts where she discusses her experiences being married to a man who wears skirts, heels, and other gender-non-conforming clothes. Her posts have proven popular as they provide a different perspective on the topic and we’ve even heard from some men who say they have helped their wives accept their love of skirts.
That being said, we have also noticed there are a number of questions that have arisen from both men and their wives, but we haven’t found the best format to answer them. So we decided to kick off an “ask me anything” for Julia.
So if there are any questions you would like to ask Julia, please let us know in the comments below or via the contact page! Feel free to ask anything and Julia will respond in a post or series of posts depending on how detailed her answer is.
We aren’t going to place a time limit on this, so even if you’re reading this post a long time after publication, feel free to ask anyway!
We are looking forward to hearing from you!
Hello Julia.
Curious of how you feel about the uneve-ness when it comes to fashion choices between men and women. Do you think women inadvertently contribute to this, and males tend to follow along, or vise verse?
Do you, as many women seem to think, think the double standard is justified?
Finally do you think it would be much better were almost all gender and sex based dress and grooming codes were abolished?
Thanks for the questions, Pythos! I’ll forward them to her.
Sorry had one more.
should parents be encouraged to let their kids wear what they wish, and look how they wish, and not impose gender rules limits and stereotypes on their kids, and instill interests in things outside of “normal” gender rules does not mean they are another sex or gender?
I believe this topic was not touched (or not touched deeply), but how about telling your friends that your husband picked up skirts / heels? Is it something that you “suddenly” tell them, or was it like a discovery from one of your friends and you had to “confess” in front of others amazed or confused friends? I’ve seen, in these “beskirted profiles”, several guys mentioning partner being tolerant but requesting husband to keep silent and not even try to reveal it to anyone from family / friends. Happily (or sadly) I don’t have such thing to worry about, but would be interesting to read your story.
Thank you for the questions! I’ll pass them on!
Hi Julia,
I would like your perspective regarding my wife’s increasing hostility towards me regarding skirt wearing. A couple years ago I mentioned an interest in getting a kilt which she dismissed and considered ridiculous. Then in the summer of 2023 while she was on a long trip I dabbled in skirts (skirts rather than a kilt because skirts were more accessible) as a curiosity and found them incredibly comfortable and liberating. I then ordered my own unisex skirt and revealed it to her when she returned from her trip. Her reaction was disappointment and concern. This I could understand. For the next year or so she struggled with not liking it while also admitting that it wasn’t right for her to dictate what I should wear. Her position was that I could only wear it around the house. This I complied with for quite a while but eventually wore a skirt occasionally to meetings out of town. She was not pleased with this and stated that she would never accompany me out in public wearing a skirt.
A détente was established but there was always tension around this unsettled issue. Then in the spring of 2024 I developed scar tissue pain related to a hernia surgery and wearing pants aggravated the problem. Certain skirts were a great help in addressing this issue – so much so that I would wear a skirt to work until the pain resolved (which it did after a few months). My wife was fairly tolerant during this period.
We then traveled to Europe this past fall and due to my scar tissue problem, I brought a skirt to wear if the pain returned, which I expected due to long periods of sitting on flights etc. I did wear the skirt a few times (over 5 weeks) and my wife was increasingly disturbed by this.
This has all led to her complete intolerance of me wearing skirts at any time and she is now hostile towards me if I wear one. Her position is “why can’t you sacrifice this one thing for her”. I’m having trouble reconciling this and I feel she is not telling me what is actually on her mind. I have tried to discuss this but she resists. I have no interest in presenting as a female or giving any female vibe and assured her of this. None of this has helped and I’m stuck between my needs and happiness as an individual and her intolerance and how all this effects our marriage.
I would appreciate any thoughts you may have on this situations.
All the best,
Mark
My reaction was why can not she accept this one thing,but I think its society as a whole,I expect if it was socially acceptable for men to wear a skirt she would be more tolerant.I do cross dress up to a point in private my wife dose not really approve but knows about my things.I love wear Heels (Boots & Shoes),Black Leather Mini Skirts,Stockings and Suspenders so I would probally be classed as C.D. but as I said only in private.
Thanks for the comment. I can see where crossdressing would be more concerning for a wife unless this was known early in the relationship before marriage. Many years ago I experimented with lingerie in a sexual context with my wife but this turned out to be a turn off for her, so that has been discontinued and not something I feel strongly about. I think it was more of and experimental/fantasy phase for me. Skirting feels very different to me – it almost feels empowering and is hard to explain.
I agree with your assessment that it’s likely my wife’s main fear is being socially ostracized by friends and or family. She doesn’t do well with confrontation or touting social norms. I tend to be the opposite in regards to breaking with convention and in some situations has caused some tension between us – masking during c19 was a prime example fo this.
At the same time however, she has always been very supportive in my individual activities and is generally a lovely person. I feel like she would be very supportive of others that wanted to where a skirt – even our children, but this will not be extended to me.
Do you wear skirts regularly at home and or in public and if so, does your wife disapprove? It’s a shame that humans are conditioned to react so strongly to clothing – must have something to do with identifying threats. I hope you find a way for your wife to be more inclusive in your clothing decistions!