I love hearing other people’s takes on wearing gender-non-conforming clothing and hearing about their experiences. This is another great writeup of a man’s experiences wearing dresses and other gender-non-conforming clothing.
What should I do when people are uncomfortable seeing me in a dress?
I used to just ignore it. I was making a point [gender freedom] in a take it or leave it fashion. Today, I am more sympathetic. I have come…
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That’s a perfect summary of what I also think frequently about this. It’s really a path for folks who are strong being / standing alone, with barely any chance of someone sticking to you breaking that social matrix. It’s definitely unsettling for others, and I get the point why you wouldn’t care about it, but then actually do care about it. That’s also why “passing as a female” is the worst thing you can keep thinking of when choosing today’s outfit, as it really put you into “be accepted” approach instead of “accept yourself”. The second is way more important than the first but of course both can be achieved at the same time.
In the end, working on to be kind and gentle is the best one can do, and hopefully the acceptance will come soon, at least from the ones who see you frequently. You can’t get all people’s “approval” even if you’ll dress as the most ordinary male/female possible.
I agree! When you dress, you should primarily think about accepting yourself but sometimes it’s appropriate to consider others as well. I wouldn’t have worn a brightly colored, floral skirt to the office to begin with because it may have been too shocking.
I try to mix in. At a wedding never take the focus off the bride. Use that same philosophy when going out. If you feel that something you wear makes someone close to you uncomfortable in public then show respect to that person an go with the flow. When I’m on my own do what ever you want because now is your time. Showing respect, care, love for another person is honorable. Life is not just about you. Sorry.
I watch out for others too, but I still do wear a skirt in front of them even if they aren’t entirely comfortable with it. If I know they won’t be, then I choose a much more “masculine” looking one which will be more subtle.