It’s time for another short story about wearing a skirt in public. Earlier today, my wife and I decided we needed to take our energetic two-year-old out for some physical activity as he was bouncing off the walls of our house. It was a nice day and so we decided to take a stroll without having much of a goal.
I was wearing my green skirt from Engelbert-Strauss with black cotton leggings and, slipping on my black and white Adidas sneakers, I was ready to go. You can kind of see the outfit in the quick snapshot I took above while we were walking.
After we had been out for a little while, my wife suggested we take our son to the playground and I agreed. I hadn’t actually ever worn a skirt to the playground for the simple reason that they aren’t very practical when you have to constantly climb and be on the ground. As much as I love the comfort of a skirt, it is not a garment that is particularly flattering in the positions playing at a playground with a two-year-old puts you into. That meant that today marked new territory for skirt-wearing for me.
When we arrived, a dad and his young daughter were already playing there. We entered the small playground, and the dad looked over to us and did a double-take when he saw me. He even stared for a little while. It wasn’t a hostile stare but more of the I-can’t-believe-what-my-eyes-are-showing-me variety.
The father never did say anything to us, but at some point, he left his daughter playing on her own and moved behind me at a short distance. I caught him taking a photo or video of me which was obvious based on the way he was holding his phone and pointing the camera towards me. I assume he shared it with other people because he was on his phone quite a bit afterward, whereas he hadn’t been at all before that.
There are two ways I could have handled this situation: ignore it or confront him. I chose the former because even though I find it rude to be so obvious about it, I was in a public place and thus willing to be seen anyway. I also figure the more photos people see of men in skirts, the more normal and less “shocking” it will become. Plus, maybe he or another man he knows wears skirts at home but doesn’t have the confidence to go out in public. In that case, seeing another man in a skirt in public might be a confidence-booster. Who knows?
In any case, the man and his daughter left a little while later. He never did say anything to us, but that may have been more of a language issue since I couldn’t recognize the language he was speaking to his daughter. It certainly wasn’t German or English and I don’t know if he spoke either one.
Other than that, another father and his son showed up at the playground at some point as well. Absolutely nothing noteworthy happened with them, not even a stare. The father greeted us politely and then focused on playing with his son. That was it.
Nothing else happened. At some point, we got hungry and cold as the sun set, then walked back home. Some people may have handled the situation with the man who blatantly took a photo or video of me differently than I did, but I honestly just don’t care enough to confront him about it. If I did, I wouldn’t voluntarily post photos and videos of myself in skirts and heels all over the internet. Plus, I hold onto the hope that he or another man he knows is also secretly a beskirted man and that having seen me wearing mine in public may have had a positive impact on somebody.
What would you have done in my position? Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Let me know in the comments below!
Kudos Alex! The hardest thing to do when “possibly confronted” is to do nothing. When you’re not sure, anything you do will have a bad outcome.
Confront them about taking your picture makes them defensive and sends a signal that you are doing something (wearing a skirt) that you don’t want others to see.
Ask the man if he has a problem with you and he’s instantly defensive and it’s the rare person who would confront you.
If hes a closeted wearer and you confront him, he could very well be scared off and then later be kicking himself for not admitting it. Even though in his mind he’ll never admit it.
If he’s never seen a man in a skirt before, acting indifferently means the story he tells everyone is awesome. “Saw this guy at the playground with his kid and he was wearing a skirt! Walked around like it was nothing!!” That’s great press. Normalized the entire event.
If he’s been thinking of wearing a skirt, he’s now more emboldened. But like anything, come on string and you scare him off.
I’ve had the occasion where men sheepishly come up to me and say “wish I had the courage to wear one”. My response is obvious but it shows me that there are more men interested in wearing one but are definitely acting the lemming waiting for another to jump in first.
You’re definitely right about that. I think it was best just to leave him alone with it even if he was just sending pictures around to his buddies and they were having a laugh about it. It really doesn’t matter to me in the end. In a way, it’s still exposure which is a helpful, positive thing in my opinion.
I’ve never had a man come up to me before and say that they wish they had the courage to wear a skirt, although I’ve been out enough in them that I’m sure at least one man has thought that after seeing me. I can imagine it might be an interesting an interesting conversation to have!
To say I’ve had a “conversation” about men wanting to wear a skirt is a stretch. I’d categorize it more as some guys sheepishly coming up to me and just saying “I wish I had the courage to wear a kilt” even when I’m wearing a skirt. And I substituted the word “courage” for the actual term they use which rhymes with the word “malls” but don’t bounce.
‘To say I’ve had a “conversation” about men wanting to wear a skirt is a stretch.’
I think I might have rather a good conversation about the merits of elastane/spandex in a skirt that enables it to s-t-r-e-t-c-h, both at rhe waist and at the hem for negotiating stairs. Pretty well indispensable, I reckon.
But, to get back on-topic, it certainly isn’t illegal to photo or video an adult in a public place unless done for criminal or terrorist purposes, which might be hard to ascertain. However, the fact that the man made no attempt at interaction whether verbally or not makes me think that he wasn’t being complimentary in his intentions; probably just as well that Alex couldn’t understand what he said to his daughter. Still, no harm done and, by sharing the pics with his friends, he’s given skirt-wearing the oxygen of publicity, which is no bad thing.
Does seem to be weirdly obvious to the initiated. The right skirt with elasticity is an amazing garment.
Feel sad both for the men who haven’t experienced it yet and the women whose fashion dictates uncomfortable skirts
I suspect your right about what he was doing not being particularly complimentary. I agree about giving skirt-wearing more publicity though! Definitely not a bad thing regardless of what is actually being said about it I think.
Des jupes moulantes ” STRECHT ” Oh oui ! .
Je porte fréquemment des mini-jupes de ce type, c’est un régal de confort , un plaisir sexy surtout quand on devine la marque des jarretelles sous le tissu 😉😊.
That’s fair enough. It would still be an interesting experience to have another man come up to me and say anything about it at all though like that.
Another day, another dose of forward normal. Wish we could have some more of that over here in Crazyland USA, where everything not 1950’s catalog white male is currently discouraged or forbidden (pending court orders, of course).
I have had those conversations, both with guys and gals. I’m pretty approachable I guess, and always willing to talk about most anything, including my skirts. Never gone badly yet. Enjoyed every one. My favorite was the real estate agent who approached me in the parking lot as I came off a rail-trial hike one summer day (I was wearing a denim mini and sandals – forget what shirt). I was asked politely if they could ask me some questions. Sure. And they were along the lines of “Why a skirt?” “Are you gay or trans?” and so on, all very friendly and curious. We talked for some time in a conversation that ranged from that to real estate (are they ALWAYS selling?) to politics and marriage. We parted as new friends.
Now here’s a new skirted adventure to share:
Two nights ago (Friday), Wife and I went to a concert in town, an Irish group called Gaelic Storm – great songs and a LOT of fun and comedy. We were in the front row. One of their numbers is called the Ode to Darcy’s Ass, a song inspired by a stuffed Donkey butt hanging over a bar in Donegal. The rest of the song’s story, I suspect, is creative license, but it tells about a farmer’s donkey (Farmer named Darcy), that got into the moonshine and ran off wild, managed to get in amongst the horses racing at the county fair, and won, then dropped dead of a heart attack, for which he was immortalized by the stuffed memorial (that is allegedly actually there). Well, part of the song is participatory, in which the audience is encouraged to stand and “dance” as if a jockey in the race. Then, there’s an instrumental bridge, for which the leader of the band chooses, from the dancing audience, several people to do their jockey dance on stage while they play the music. Ahem. I should tell you I was wearing a homespun peasant shirt in natural ivory, with laced sleeves, over a black denim mini and black-and-tan argyle tights (clue to the uninitiated: Black-and-Tan is a favored Irish pub beverage). So, I was one of three called up to the stage. We did our jockey dance and the band leader specifically called me out to the crowd, not for the skirt, but for “those are some fantastic socks,” before we returned to our seats in the audience.
Later as we left the Music Hall (a world-class acoustic theater that seats about 1,200, packed to the rafters for this event), many others in the audience further complimented the “socks” or the outfit in general. Multiple “nice legs” from ladies. One “nice kilt” from a gent, and a couple of “Cool Skirt”s – no deeper conversation on this occasion, but isn’t it interesting that the skirt was not the central topic at all?
(I’d post a picture of the dancing, but can’t do that here in Comments).
Thought for today in Faux Latin (Non illegitime carborundum) – aka Don’t let the bastards grind you down. YOLO.
That is true. Things seem to be going backwards rapidly there, unfortunately.
Sounds like you had a wonderful conversation. I haven’t had that many with random strangers, but I suspect that has to do with German culture to an extent. People tend to be less willing to get into conversations with strangers here because they like their private space more than Americans tend to on average. I would love to have someone ask me about my skirts and am (almost) always willing to talk about it in the right context!
Thank you for sharing your experience! It sounds like the concert was a real success and not just from the standpoint of the band! Such experiences are really fantastic to have!
Wow! What an amazing experience!
Can you post the picture over on the Delphi Men’s and Unisex Skirts forum? Would love to see the whole outfit. Especially the “socks”.
I’m always dumbfounded by these experiences. If you told someone in general that you showed up to an event in a skirt and tights, they’d never guess you had the night you did.
But you did.
And it goes without saying that the band complimenting you validated your outfit for the crowd.
But the whole thing is wonderful.
Women complimenting you on your attributes is wonderful and addictive.
Others complimenting you on your “socks” or “kilt” provides both the warm fuzzy feelings and bemused mirth since you actually know what you’re wearing. I suspect they do to but it’s just semantics that let us all be comfortable?
And wow, 1200! That takes courage to get up there and dance regardless of your outfit. To do it so clad, you got a lot of courage
A few years ago I went to Los Angeles to visit my cousin. Skirts were all I packed to wear. He took me to a street fair and I got picked to be part of a skit, it was kind of fun. Well about half way through I noticed that there were people taking pictures of what was going on, and quite a few were taking pictures of me. At first I felt a little embarrassed but that didn’t last long. After I got over it I started to feel like a celebrity and a huge confidence booster. When I got home from that trip I started wearing skirts exclusively.
Sounds like a wonderful experience! I find that that sort of thing is easier when larger groups are around rather than just basically being one-on-one at a playground. Maybe it’s because I still have a latent fear in the back of my mind that the other person might become aggressive? I’ve discussed that with my wife before and she says it’s the same feeling that women often feel when alone or mostly alone with men they don’t know.
It’s when attention becomes notoriety and not public shaming that you realize being unique is a strength, not a weakness. Standing confidently as yourself amongst a field of lemmings.
I couldn’t agree more!
Well, I’ve been in similar situation a bunch of times (without any kid and not at the playground), where some folks hold their phones in a way that strongly suggests taking photo. I usually pretend that I don’t see it, but one time guy was standing so close to me that I couldn’t simply ignore that and waved him. He either didn’t notice or didn’t want to wave back. I must admit – having this kind of attention is fine but thinking about how some women are being examined in the streets, I’m not surprised there are more and more of them wearing denim trousers instead of a skirt.
It seems that when people want to take a photo, they want to do it subtly and not really engage with the matter or the person. It doesn’t surprise me that he didn’t wave back.